What to Expect When You Are Done Expecting

The big event is finally over and you are looking in the mirror at your no longer pregnant/still look pregnant body, bags under your eyes the size of your weekender, messy top knot, salty and sticky due to night sweats, wearing giant mesh underwear containing an offensively large pad (this, my friends, is why they are called “maxi” pads) which is hiding the horror show of what used to be your vagina and you finally realize you didn’t have a clue about postpartum.

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