Becoming a Strong, yet Soft Mother

                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Photos by Devon Gillott

                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Photos by Devon Gillott

Jenn's journey with infertility.

Today I decided to write about my journey as my husband reminded me a year ago was the most blessed day of our lives. I've been scared to share my story out of fear, of what people might think or say, as I believe I’ve always been that person who always had it together. 

Life was easy for me. I graduated with honours. I went to college. I got to marry my best friend since high school on one of the most beautiful Hawaiian beaches surrounded by a large supportive family. It was all of the things every girl dreams of.

So now I was so excited to start my family, as being a mom was one of my biggest dreams of all! So I went off birth control and waited, and waited, and waited....

Five years later my heart was breaking. My relationship with my husband was under a lot of pressure and my world was sad. We blamed it on stress and being too busy growing our successful restaurant. It was taking an emotional toll on us so we decided to seek help. That itself was devastating. This was supposed to be so natural and it was nothing how I planned it. After a couple small treatments at the fertility clinic, still nothing was happening and my heart was breaking even more. 

So being that our next step was IVF (in vitro fertilization), I had to take some time to have my heart open to this procedure and let go of my story, the pressure and the heartache. After a year, I realized that you can’t plan life and you can’t always have balance and as I let that go, the control, it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders. I literally felt lighter and embraced my beautiful messy life. 

I was ready emotionally, physically and spiritually. I was ready for help and so grateful this technology and loving doctors were there for us. There we were sitting in the clinic signing papers and we started the procedure the very next day. 

I always felt like I had to have this superhero shell.  

I will never forget when the sweetest lady sitting next to me at a seminar said, ‘Dear, to be a mom you need to be soft.’

The tears fell from my face because she was so right. I called every strong woman I knew and said to them, "You know we don’t have to be so strong every minute of the day. What if someone told you it's OK to be soft and vulnerable. Nobody will judge you for not having it all together all the time."

The IVF procedure took so much love and team work as it was summer and I was serving on the busiest patio in the Cowichan Valley and having my work family cover my tables as I ran up to my house to do my hormone injections and helping me cover shifts for all of our appointments. We would yell out, "Team Baby!!!" 

So here we are, as I said in the beginning one year ago today was the most blessed day of our life as we watched this beautiful embryo being transferred into me. You then have to wait to see if the implantation happens but I just knew at that moment that I was a mom. 

Nine months later it was happening, we were having our baby. Throughout my pregnancy and preparing for labour I knew I wanted to have the most natural journey I could. I am forever grateful for Western medicine and the technology that made this journey possible but now it was back in my natural hands. I ate as healthy as I could, practiced yoga regularly, read books that helped me grow and feel empowered and my dear friend helped bring the most trusted essential oils into my life.

One thing she shared that was so inspiring was: "Life is beautiful in a way that we are given, what we are later meant to teach." 

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Our handsome son was born February 12, 2017. No words can describe the feelings that day when you get to meet your baby for the first time, knowing you did it being that strong, yet soft mother you always wanted to be.

Some time has passed and now our son, one of the most happiest little guys around just turned one! I have been inspired by some amazing women and families who have reached out to me for guidance to help find their inner strength and peace moving forward into their fertility journey. 

Below is a few recommendations of books, nutritional support, ways to de-stress, products to live a cleaner lifestyle and essential oils to support our emotions and wellness. 

De-Stressing; Find someone you can trust and talk to. Don’t hold it all in. Yoga is great for breathing and creating a space to be grounded and in tune with your body.

Finding your happy place; which is somewhere you can just let go and be. Maybe this is running, going to the beach or taking a drive with the music blasting.  


  • The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer
  • The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte 
  • The Universe Has Your Back by Gabrielle Bernstein 

Doterra CPTG Essential Oils: 


I am very grateful for IVF and the most amazing team at Victoria Fertility Clinic but also for these amazing natural products and oils that supported me through my journey which has created this beautiful bridge between Western and Eastern medicine. 

These oils were introduced into my life at the perfect time. I am so thankful for my friend who reached out to me, and so this is why I want to reach out to you. I hold regular classes for education and have a few kits I’ve created, whether you are trying to conceive or seeking for help, or perhaps you are pregnant.  

About Jenn Heyne:

Jenn is a long-time Cowichan Valley resident, yoga lover, mother, owner of the Cow Cafe Restaurant with her hubby, and "a believer, a dreamer, and essential oils educator". She can be reached at 250-710-7352,