Look at that mom... what is she a size 0? I wish I could look like that. I bet she doesn't even have any stretch marks. That's what I used to say all the time. I called those women I envied a different name, but let's keep this post PG rated.
Looking at other skinny moms and everything I wanted, and to quote my good friend, "My happiness was on the other side of skinny," all I could think was they had it all: happy kids, great jobs, supportive partners and it was all because they are skinny.
But is that really the case?
I have been heavy all my life and of course as I got older it fluctuated. I was always the fat girl... super cool but just fat. I hid for years my hatred for myself with a fake self-esteem, outgoing personality and loudness. In high school I was voted, "Miss I love my body."
As the years added up, so did my weight and I tipped the scales at 282 pounds at my heaviest. I was addicted to my unhealthy lifestyle and craved unhealthy food like it was like a drug.
It was after a trip to Texas I decided it was enough. My body matters!
So, I decided to start running (something I had done on and off for years and enjoyed). I slowly realized what I had done to my body and what it had gone through. I had been abusing this body of mine, the only one I get, and I had allowed my addiction to almost kill it.
I changed everything. I worked out four times a week. I fueled my body with healthy food. I had been an addict of crappy food and so I needed to detox and rehab.
Fast-forward a year later and 115 pounds down!
I get asked all the time, "How do you have time for the gym, kids, family, work, marriage, sing in a band and meal prep, etc?"
The answer is ... (drum roll) I don't! I make my health a priority and I have a list of non-negotiables which include the gym, good food, work, marriage and my kids.
Those things are dealt with first. If something needs to get cut to make sure my non-negotiables are achieved then that's what happens.
I view working out everyday just as important as going to work everyday. When you abuse your body for so long you can't eat trash and not work out. Don't try to give me any BS. I know it already. (Here's my before and after photo).
I've listed some tips on how this can be done (and how I was able to achieve it).
Brace yourself, it's about to get real:
- You matter! You cannot give to anyone until you have something to give.
- Never feel guilty for making yourself healthy. EVER!
- You at times will be alone in this fight, so fight harder.
- Your children deserve for you to be healthy. They look to you and are watching so make sure they see your hardwork.
- Don't lie to yourself. Guess what? You're not healthy, you're not happy and it's not OK to be fat anymore. Cut the crap!
- Set goals and post them to social media. It will force you to do the work.
- Eat like you give a S**T.
- Food is only fuel. Stop making it out to be a bloody event everytime you eat.
- Get more sleep. I know it's hard but you need more.
- Take before photos. You will need them later when you think you're sucking.
- Meal prep. It takes time and effort but it's a must.
- When you kill a workout, rewarding yourself with junk food is not a reward. It's a waste of a great workout.
- If you work out at home you would have by now...
- You don't owe anyone anything when it comes to your body.
- FYI no one cares what you look like at the gym.... they do care if you smell.
- You are worth the money!
Lastly, your brain is the hardest muscle to train. You can change and not be the fat girl in the room. Is it hard? Yup! Are you sore and tired and sweaty? Yup. Do you hate the food you make sometimes? Yup. Are you going to miss out on things because you don't want to eat the food or you have to go to the gym? Yup.
However, what you're doing is clearly not working, so you need to change. You are not going to wake up one day and be skinny, sorry. This will never be a quick fix. It's a lifestyle change and it's a killer.
Be your own advocate. Be strong, brave and kick ass!