With three toddlers, two jobs, ongoing major house renovations and an equally busy husband, it should come as no surprise that all I want for Christmas this year is an ounce of patience, some time to myself, some alone time to reconnect with my hubby, and if it’s not too much to ask, three well-behaved children.
Well, my almost 4-year-old just stabbed me in the eye with her toothbrush and the boys are currently building a crash pad to do flips off of the back of the couch (literally… they are crazy)… so let’s come at this from a new angle.
Plausibly, all I want for Christmas and in the New Year is to ACTUALLY ENJOY IT ALL.
I have all year to stress about all of these other things. This year I just want to enjoy my kids and their delighted little faces when they open presents, or when they greet company, or see where Wally (our Elf on the Shelf) ended up in the morning.
Here’s my plan:
If (when) I undercook or burn the turkey, screw it. Spiral ham is the new turkey anyway.
If (when) my ______ (take your pick: kids, cat, dog) knock(s) over the Christmas tree, the broken ornaments will just get thrown back on.
I’m not going to look at my bank account until January 2, 2018. Let the chips fall where they may.
As much as I don’t care what I spend, I’m still not going overboard. I already go through manic purges of the toy room on a weekly basis wondering where the hell all of this shit keeps coming from. I am not contributing to the clutter. We banned our parents from buying any type of toy. Merry Christmas kids, enjoy your clothing and mandarin oranges…
Screw the, “How do you want your eggs?” on Christmas morning; you’re getting over-medium-ish with a chance of burnt toast. But there will be mimosas, so cheers.
Christmas jammies for all.
If (when) my _____ (take your pick again: kids, cat, dog) knock over the tree again, f*** it, no ornaments this year.
We will do all the things. The kids are only this little and excited for such a short period. Christmas train, tree decorating, making gingerbread houses, watching the Grinch… it’s all happening. I mean, I’m out of town for some of it, so my husband will do all the things. Right dear?
OK, retract #8… I don’t care if we do any of those things. We will do whatever things we ACTUALLY want. I could care less about going to some stupid light-up because “you have to” when you have kids.
More importantly, Love Actually. I hope you know I mean the movie (it's a Christmas classic) and that I’m not trying to end on some sentimental note.
Here’s to hoping I can make this happen this year; and maybe I can hang on to these care-free ways for even an extra week into the New Year. Don’t hold your breath.
I fully welcome any tips, comments or strategies on how you all ensure a stress-free holiday season.